Category Archives for "healing from emotional abuse"

12 Signs That Your Sexual Frustration Is At It’s Peak

Dry spells happen to everyone and they are more than likely to lead to sexual frustration. However, physical contact actually differentiates humans from other animals. Whether it is a sympathetic hug or just a warm handshake, humans have developed a complex language through physical touch and intimacy. It is essential to preserve the occurrence of human touch in order for couples to thrive.

Greater trust is developed between individuals through touch. This kind of intimacy helps bond people together by activating the parts of the brain that are linked to feelings of reward and empathy. In fact, a simple touch is able to trigger the release of oxytocin, which is otherwise known as the “love hormone”. Human skin contains nerve receptors that can evoke emotional responses through the activation of erogenous zones, which makes human touch even more important in keeping an intimate relationship alive.

Here are 12 signs you are sexually frustrated

1. You are constantly looking through your phone to find someone to sext.

If you have to search for someone to sext, it’s likely not the best idea. You may very well be sexually frustrated if you are considering sending a dirty text to that guy who came over to paint your house last weekend. If no one is off limits for a sext, you are probably inching into frustration.

2. You want to hear every detail about your friend’s sex life.

Are you trying to live vicariously through your friends by asking for all of the dirty details of their most recent date? If you’re not getting any yourself, you may lean on others to hear about their experiences.

3. No one is off limits.

That guy in front of you in the grocery store? Perhaps the new guy at work? Everyone you come in contact with is a possible sexual partner.

4. Your internet history is x-rated.

Would you be embarrassed to show your browsing history to your grandma? You are probably sexually frustrated if your search engine starts to fill in your internet searches with dirty websites.

5. You start thinking about your ex.

He probably wasn’t that bad, right? Maybe he is still living in town and you all can meet up for coffee…or something. While the relationship may have seemed toxic in the past, you both have probably grown up a little.

6. You keep a vibrator by your bed.

Can you end the day without having a date with your vibrator? If you need to spend some alone time in bed before actually going to sleep every night, you are probably getting pretty frustrated.

7. You start to put a sexual twist on everything.

“That’s what she said” may be the most common words that you speak when your mind is in the gutter. If you relate every conversation you have somehow to sex, there is a good chance that you just can’t seem to get your mind off of it.

Read: Healing from the effects of emotional abuse

8. Your “nice” underwear is buried at the bottom of your drawer.

Why spend your time wearing uncomfortable underwear if there is no one there to see them? Your sexy underwear has now made its way to the bottom of your underwear drawer and never comes up for rotation. You have stuck to purely comfortable underwear for weeks now, and while this may be relieving in some ways, it is very frustrating in others.

9. You have sex dreams every night.

You may not even recognize your sexual partner in your dream, but that doesn’t matter. You may even feel relieved that you at least kind of get to experience having sex, even if it is in your wildest dreams.

10. You stopped shaving.

Why bother, right? You don’t feel the need to spend time in the morning shaving your legs if no one is going to be touching them. However, you may start to feel like a woolly mammoth if you keep it up for too long. If you have just simply neglected your nether regions, you are probably not feeling as sexy as you could be.

11. You can’t exactly pinpoint the last time you had sex.

Has it been an entire year already? You might not be sure. What was it even like? You don’t remember. If you have to stop and think about when your last sexual encounter was, you are probably ready to get some, like, yesterday.

12. You forget to take your birth control.

It doesn’t even really occur to you anymore to set your alarm and take your birth control pill at the exact same time every day. If you miss a few days, it is probably not a big deal. It is not like you will be getting pregnant anyway.

Dry spells can lead to a lot of frustration. These are just a few signs that you may need to get some before your frustration gets to an all-time high.

How to Rebuild Trust In A Relationship When You’ve Been Hurt

It can be really hard to rebuild trust in a relationship when you have been hurt by your partner. Trust is something that, once broken, can take a lot of time to rebuild. The most important thing to know is that with 100% commitment from BOTH parties, trust can come back and be strong. Knowing how to rebuild trust in a marriage of romantic relationship can be the hardest part of the entire process. You cannot be greedy or ask for things that are purely for personal gain. You also can’t expect your partner to know how to get the trust back in your relationship. The plan is something that you both must decide on and work on together.

Here are the keys on how to rebuilt trust with your partner:

Communication is Key

The first thing that you both need to understand so you can know how to rebuild trust in a relationship is communication. If you can’t talk to each other honestly and openly then there isn’t going to be much hope. The most important thing about rebuilding trust is being able to communicate.

If you and your partner are both willing to sit down and talk to each other, then you have a great starting point. Each of you should take the time to discuss how you are feeling about the situation that caused the breaking of trust. Each of you should also be willing to listen to how the other feels, whether you agree or disagree with them. Being able to let those feelings out will allow you to start to let go of the hurt that you have perhaps been bottling up.

After you have talked about your feelings, sit down and talk about how to rebuild trust between the two of you. Talk about expectations and what you both want the end result to be. Come up with a plan that will work for both of you. Don’t be afraid to voice what you want and need. At the same time, understand that your partner may not agree with some of those things. Be ready to talk about why they are important expectations for you. Continue reading