ArchiveCategory Archives for "controlling behavior"
controlling behavior in men and women
controlling behavior in men and women
You are truly, madly, deeply in love with your wife. You’ll do anything for her, short of giving her the moon and the stars. You’ve burned for her ever since you met, and you still have that same hot feeling in your chest whenever you look at her.
But does she feel the same way about you? Unfortunately, as with most things in life, marriage isn’t always a bed of roses. And you may think you know what she’s up to when she’s away.
She seems more distant.
You didn’t do anything wrong recently. And yet, when you try to talk to or touch your wife, she acts as though she doesn’t want to be anywhere near you. When you ask her what’s wrong, she says she’s fine even though her actions say otherwise.
She seems to be hiding something from you.
Normally, you’d be open to each other about everything. But now, every time you do so much as touch her laptop, she snatches it away and snaps at you to “Mind your own business!” It’s like there’s something on her laptop she doesn’t want you to see.
She’s out with her “girl friends” more than usual.
If it’s a choice between a cozy evening with you, and a rowdy night out with her “girl friends,” she chooses the latter. You find this odd, because she’s always been accommodating to you before. And why is it that her “girls’ night out” is now every Friday to Sunday, instead of every Sunday only? Something’s not right.
She smells of another man’s cologne.
This is one obvious sign. Unless she’s buying cologne for you and testing it on herself (which is highly unlikely), it’s possible she spends a lot of her time in the arms of another man.
She has changed or adopted new habits.
Your wife was never into cigarettes or alcohol before. So why is she taking up these vices now? One possible reason is that someone — a lover, perhaps — influenced her into smoking and drinking. Continue reading
In a healthy relationship, there’s a give and take dynamic. When one does a favor, the other is supposed to reciprocate. When one is in trouble, the other is supposed to help. And when one does something out of line, the other is supposed to reel them back in.
In a controlling relationship, the dynamics are heavily skewed in favor of one person. That person abuses their privileges to the detriment of the other, resulting in emotional and psychological consequences for the latter. Often, the latter isn’t aware they’re in a controlling relationship, until the signs show up.
1. You can’t go out of the house, touch your bank account or meet friends and family without your partner’s say-so.
2. Your partner always points out the negative qualities of the people you hang out with (“Why is Alice always late for your night outs?”), and makes themselves look good by comparison (“I would never let you wait for 10 minutes, dear.).
3. When you do something wrong, your partner is quick to point it out. When you do something right, your partner stays silent, or makes it look as though it’s no big deal (“Anyone with a functioning brain can win that award!”). Continue reading
Finally, this is it! You have met the man of your dreams.
The two of you are joined at the hip, and he is constantly guiding you in every move that you make. You can’t help but believe he’s madly in love with you.
After all, he calls you throughout the day and wants to keep you all to himself every chance he gets. Isn’t he sweet?
His attentiveness seems to show he’s basking in the newness of your relationship. However, there’s a side to this scenario that suggests your boyfriend is already starting to control you, and maybe you’re not fully aware of it.
An emotionally-manipulative boyfriend often uses subtle tactics, making the unsuspecting woman think that he is acting in her best interest, when in fact, he always wants to have his final say in the relationship.
It’s difficult to discern if this overly-attentive guy is being manipulative or if he just cares about you a lot. If you find it hard to tell the difference between the two, there are major telltale signs to see if your guy is micromanaging you.
1-He wants your world to revolve around him and only him.
An understanding partner will appreciate that you have a life of your own and will be happy that you are able to nurture your friendships with other people.
However, a manipulative man will subtly try to convince you to avoid your friends or stop you from talking to your siblings. He might also persuade you to cut back on your work, as it impacts your time together.
Why this is bad: Aside from feeling jealous of your attention and time, he also wants you to cut ties with your network of friends and your support system, so that eventually he will be the only person you can depend on Continue reading